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Seaside Rendezvous
A simple mail pickup becomes complicated by politics, zombies, and unrequited love Cast * Amelia Spens * Maxine Myers * Sam Yao Plot There's The Cannon... Before you can start today's message retrieval mission in neutral Worthington-on-Sea you'll need to wait for the signal. While you do that Amelia tries to update everyone on the current political situation, without much success. It's Too Quiet It's very quiet as you make your way through the town. Amelia, Maxine and Sam discuss your contact at The Laundry, and what Janine might be doing right now. Throw It In The Sea Underneath this settlement's listening post is a bin containing post for Abel, including a coded message from Ellie Maxted, and a mysterious package for Amelia. Fair Game Maxine has decoded the message: The Laundry's attempting to rescue the babies from Sigrid's serum factory. Amelia's mystery package is from her estranged husband, Valmont. But, you'll have to quiz her about it after escaping some zoms! Lay A Trail Towards The Sea You've walked into a trap! The leader of this settlement has lured a horde of zombies in after you. Despite Amelia's protestations, the 'faux romantic' package contains something useful: a perfume that will distract zombies. Heading For The Border The perfume successfully distracts the zombies, but a cannon blast indicates Abel's time in Worthington-on-Sea is now over. There's now another horde ahead of you, but helpfully the package from Valmont contains hidden guns. Quite A Bit Of Noise When Valmont provides guns, they're not just any guns - they are laser sighted, AI assisted guns. You make quick work of the zoms and are almost at the border. Don't Tell Anyone About This A short hop over a wall and you're back in Abel territory, where Sigrid's guards can't touch you without risking war. Maxine finishes decoding the message: unfortunately the baby factory has been moved. Amelia resolves to help you find its new location. S06E04 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript AMELIA SPENS: Look, can we get on? SAM YAO: You know as well as we do, Amelia, that we have to wait for the flag. Just because we’ve got the king on our side now - just because he’s doing the rounds of undecided territories, building our support - doesn’t mean all the rules have gone away. AMELIA SPENS: Not long to go. Devil Flesh leave Worthington-on-Sea at precisely 15 minutes past the hour. MAXINE MYERS: Devil Flesh? Is that as sinister as it sounds? AMELIA SPENS: Oh, no. They’re just the combination of Barree and Venment colonies. You must remember. After the war between Radial and Connor? When they poisoned each other’s leaders? MAXINE MYERS: I uh, I lost track of that when Radial formed. I couldn’t work out who they were allied with. AMELIA SPENS: sighs Well, if you will ignore world politics, it’s your lookout, I suppose. You understand the purpose of Worthington-on-Sea, I hope? SAM YAO: Uh, well, I know it’s neutral. And different groups take turns, and no one’s allowed to bring weapons. AMELIA SPENS: There’s a transmitter on the spur here erected by a coalition of the Ministry, the Exmoor Militia, and the Psychoanalysts Enclave. MAXINE MYERS: The Psychoanalysts Enclave? AMELIA SPENS: They had a lot of dirt on a lot of important people. They’ve done very well in this apocalypse. Anyway, no one was able to outright control Worthington, and an uneasy peace ensued, as is the style these days. SAM YAO: Yeah. Abel has a treaty with Worthington. We can come in here, send or receive messages. booms AMELIA SPENS: Gosh, they make everything so bloody formal. There’s the cannon, and here comes the flag. Come on. We haven’t got long. Run. MAXINE MYERS: It’s kind of pretty, this promenade. And I like the vibe of the town. Down-at-heel off-season seaside is my jam. Peeling buildings, shuttered stores. Is this place usually this deserted? AMELIA SPENS: I expect that’ll be the townsfolk staying out of the way of Devil Flesh. They’re totally harmless, but they do smell. SAM YAO: But our messages will be there. AMELIA SPENS: Oh yes. Sweetpea’s very reliable, especially for a woman with pink and purple bunches. She runs the transmitter tower. MAXINE MYERS: Very reliable with a kind of loud personal style? laughs Well, I don’t suppose she’s Janine in disguise, is she? AMELIA SPENS: laughs I thought of that, but no. I’ve met her. Definitely not Janine. SAM YAO: Hmm. I keep doing that. Something happens, and I think, “Oh, it must be Janine.” Like when we found those holes dug in the Forest of Fallen Runners. My first thought was - MAXINE MYERS: Has Janine dug up a weapons cache? laughs Yeah, mine, too! Sometimes I wonder if, you know… maybe she’s trapped somewhere. AMELIA SPENS: Or dead. SAM YAO: Janine’s not dead. Definitely not. AMELIA SPENS: No, she’s not. I know because every time I make any headway with the Ministry, someone feeds them lies about me, making me out to be untrustworthy, if you please. So yes, Janine’s still alive. When she wants to be found, you’ll find her, and not before. MAXINE MYERS: Kind of like literally anyone in this town. It’s too quiet, even for me. Let’s pick up the pace. AMELIA SPENS: This is the place. Lighthouse at the end of the jetty is the listening post. Our delivery will be in one of these gravel bins. MAXINE MYERS: Don’t they come down from the listening post to talk to us? AMELIA SPENS: No. They’re listening. And they wouldn’t want to play favorites. But look. That gravel bin has our name on it. I’ll just undo the padlock with our pre-agreed number. jingles, lock clicks Five, get the lid open for me. clangs open And there we go - our post. Blah blah… more settlements saying they can’t join the Abel alliance because the Minister’s promised them her vaccine serum. Blah blah… ah, here, Five. A message from the Ministry for Abel. That’ll be from your Laundry friends. Ooh, and there’s a parcel in there for me. Oh. No. Leave it. MAXINE MYERS: Why? What is it? AMELIA SPENS: It’s nothing we want. MAXINE MYERS: It looks expensively wrapped. It’s not like you to leave supplies, Amelia. AMELIA SPENS: Five, open that letter. tears and rustles MAXINE MYERS: Oh, right. It’s in code. I forgot. Ellie taught all this to Zoe and Phil in case she needed to communicate from behind enemy lines. So um, yeah. Yeah, I can work this out. That letter followed by that one makes a D, and I think those three make a P… AMELIA SPENS: Can’t you do this on the run, Doctor? MAXINE MYERS: Are you really going to leave that package? Because if you’re leaving it, I’m taking it. I’m curious. AMELIA SPENS: You can throw it in the sea for all I care. Just hurry up. MAXINE MYERS: Okay, that’s an X, so yeah. Yeah, this message is definitely from Ellie Maxted. She’s taken over as the head of the Laundry now. explosion AMELIA SPENS: I just heard something. MAXINE MYERS: Ah! Then if that’s a B, and that’s a B, too… yeah, I think this is about the babies, you guys. The Laundry sent a team to pick up the babies Sigrid was using to make her serum. That was Ellie’s main priority – rescue them from Finland. AMELIA SPENS: Oh, good. I’m glad that’s going to be sorted out. Well done, Team Do-Gooders. Sam, have you got long-range cams here? That parcel’s giving me a bad feeling. MAXINE MYERS: What is that parcel, Amelia? Do you have a mystery admirer? AMELIA SPENS: Not a mystery. I recognize the handwriting. It’s Valmont. MAXINE MYERS: Ooh, your husband, the multi-billionaire. Well, why is he sending you gifts? And how did he know that you were here? AMELIA SPENS: Two excellent questions. SAM YAO: Guys, there’s a horde of zombies cutting off your safe route out of town. Um, yeah, you might be able to make your way around them and out, but if not - MAXINE MYERS: They’ll drive us into Sigrid’s territory, and then we’re fair game. Five, you take point. Go! MAXINE MYERS: Oh God. I haven’t seen this many zombies together in months. How the hell did they get here out of nowhere? AMELIA SPENS: I think that’s obvious. I know the man who runs Worthington-on-Sea. Calls himself “Raoul” now, as if he thinks he’s running Cuba on the side. Before he took over here, he was called Ralph. He used to be a stringer for me. Amazing what a sudden elevation in status you get running a tinpot settlement. He cleared his people out of town and lured that horde here. I heard the flashbang go off. Act of zombie isn’t covered under the treaty, so he won’t be responsible for this to Abel’s allies. Don’t worry. I’ll make it my mission to destroy him, just as soon as we get out of here. MAXINE MYERS: These zoms are gaining on us. AMELIA SPENS: Well, you might be able to run faster if you got rid of that stupid box. MAXINE MYERS: Let me just open it, see if there’s anything useful in here. tears, glass bottles clink Oh. Perfume? Eau de Maron. AMELIA SPENS: Well, that’s typical. Constantly with the fake romance. SAM YAO: Eau de Maron? Oh my God, no, I’ve read about that stuff on Rofflenet. It’s a legend! AMELIA SPENS: Just a second. Show me that bottle? You’re right! ? must be distracted to have forgotten this. This perfume became famous in the siege of John Lewis, early days of the apocalypse. It’s got some molecule in it that mimics a human pheromone so well that - SAM YAO and AMELIA SPENS: - zombies will follow it instead of following humans. SAM YAO: Five, run south from here. Throw the bottles in a line towards the sea. Lay a trail. Now, run! shatters, zombies growl SAM YAO: It’s working! It’s definitely working. They’re following your perfume, Amelia! AMELIA SPENS: It’s not my perfume! MAXINE MYERS: I get it. This dude is some kind of creepy ex, right? AMELIA SPENS: In a way. MAXINE MYERS: He’s stalking you, right? AMELIA SPENS: Well, he’s trying to get me back. I might have left with uh, one or two of his belongings. Nothing very significant. Not in the grand scheme of things. booms Oh, good. Here’s another emergency for Team Abel to solve. Go on, team. Deal with the emergency. SAM YAO: Uh, yeah, that was the cannon. You’re officially on Sigrid’s time in Worthington now. And that horde of zoms isn’t following you anymore, but it’s still in your path home. You could run around them, but yeah. Sigrid’s soldiers are fanning out across Worthington. AMELIA SPENS: So, stealth mission? Run and hide? MAXINE MYERS: Uh, no, I think your creepy ex has given us another alternative. SAM YAO: What’s that? MAXINE MYERS: Well, no one’s allowed weapons in Worthington, but under all that perfume, Amelia, Valmont sent us three handguns. We can shoot our way through the zoms! Five, you take this one. Let’s do this the old fashioned way. You take point, Five. We’re heading for the border. Run! growl, gunshots AMELIA SPENS: Runner Five, to your left! zombie splatters MAXINE MYERS: These pistols are amazing, Amelia! The laser sights, trajectory, adjusting rounds. They must have some AI targeting correction on them, too. I’m getting headshots every time. AMELIA SPENS: Yes, well, that’s how he operates. growls, gunshot, zombie splatters SOLDIER: Stop! In the name of the Minister! SAM YAO: You’re nearly at the border, guys, but uh, yeah, you’ve made quite a bit of noise. Sigrid’s soldiers are after you. If they manage to catch you, the treaties say they can take you prisoner! Go! SOLDIER: Stop! gunshots SAM YAO: Yeah, don’t stop, guys. Keep running. MAXINE MYERS: We are just so nearly there. Just over this wall, and - AMELIA SPENS: There. Back in Abel’s territory. Good. MAXINE MYERS: Man, that is so weird. Sigrid’s soldiers are just a few hundred yards away, but they can’t come into Abel’s territory, or it’ll spark a full-on war! SAM YAO: Yeah. Well, Sigrid doesn’t want that, does she? She knows now we’ve got Abel back, we’ve got access to Janine’s armory, and well, if she wipes us out, we wipe her out. Mutually-assured destruction. AMELIA SPENS: Yes. You know, that’s how I used to feel about my marriage. I suppose you’ve all noticed. He knew what was going to happen here. MAXINE MYERS: Yeah, that is kind of creepy. AMELIA SPENS: I’ll have to think carefully about my next move. Right. Good to have a project. Did you translate that message yet, Maxine? All the babies safe and well and somewhere nice and warm? No more new serum vials for Auntie Sigrid? MAXINE MYERS: Actually, it’s bad news. The team from the Laundry arrived in Finland two weeks ago, and the facility we sent them to was empty. Staff gone, babies gone. Just empty buildings, Ellie says. SAM YAO: Oh no! AMELIA SPENS: Well, that’s simple. We’ll just have to find them and rescue them. MAXINE MYERS: It’s not going to be easy, Amelia. AMELIA SPENS: I know that, but I’m feeling very efficacious today, and the sight of dozens of infants being used as a serum factory sparked some useless sympathy in me, and that’s that. I will stop at literally nothing until I find them. SAM YAO: Uh, well, yeah. Well, that sounds good, actually. Want a hand with it? Yeah, I know a lot of people on Rofflenet. I mean, people who want to help me. And if we find them, it’ll be one more blow against Sigrid’s plans. A blow against her ability to recruit allies, and a blow in favor of lots of little babies. AMELIA SPENS: Fine. Just don’t tell anyone about this. It’d ruin my reputation Category:Mission Category:Season Six